Adventures in Bookland: The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease
It’s a shame I didn’t read this book when I was 17. Or indeed 27. I would run through a check list in my mind:
- Reasonably presentable – check
- Not actually smelling – check
- Teeth brushed – check
- Able to hold a conversation with a member of the opposite sex – well, by 27 I could check that. At 17, no.
So why could I not find a girlfriend? By 27 I had quite a few female friends. I actually enjoyed female company. But as for a girlfriend? Not a sniff.
Turns out that I was completely clueless about body language. Women might have been signalling to me left, right and under their eyelashes and I wouldn’t have recognised anything other than a large sign held up with the words, “Kiss me now” written on it in capitals. A book on body language would have served me in very good stead back then.
Of course, in today’s world, fraught with the consequences of misunderstood sexual signals, a large sign saying, “Kiss me now,” might well be the best way to proceed. Thankfully, I am married – although the book’s been helpful in reminding me to watch out for wifely signals too, although the wonderful woman has long known my blindness to anything less subtle than a flying brick – but I do wonder whether young men and women today can rely on these hard wired body language signs: for the simple reason that sometimes the body wants to do what the mind later regrets.
My advice: read the book, then get the invitation in writing first.